Sleepless in… just sleepless

Dear Mr. or Ms. Stork,

Hello! I am not sure if this is the right person individual to write to about this matter, but I thought I’d give it a try.

You have delivered to me two very lovely children (thank you again!). They really are a delight, and I enjoy them very much. But I’m wondering if maybe one of them has a defective sleep mechanism? My son just doesn’t seem to be able to sleep very well. He is more than two and a half now, and the sleepy-making thingamajig in his brain has never functioned properly. In fact, as I write this, he is supposed to be napping, but instead he is screaming “Good morning! Good morning!” at the top of his lungs and jumping in his crib and generally acting like a crazed parrot-ape. This is quite typical of him anytime he’s supposed to be sleeping—except right when we’re supposed to go somewhere, at which point he suddenly becomes struck with a bout of narcolepsy.

So, I was wondering if I could possibly get a replacement sleep-at-the-right-time part for his brain? And will that require an Allen wrench and rubber mallet, or what?

Hope you had a great summer!

Best regards,
Red-Eyed Mom

I wanna hug them and pet them and squeeze them and name them George.

Nica has had sets of Calico Critters since she was 3. The cats, the dogs, the hedgehogs, the rabbits…. They are all so tiny and fuzzy. They are so adorable, you want to take them in your hands and just pop their little heads off.

Why is it that cuteness brings out such violent impulses in women? You never hear, “Oh, my God, he’s so cute, I want to gently stroke his hair until he falls asleep like an angel.” Instead, you hear, “Oh, my God, he’s so cute, I could eat him”; “Oh, my God, he’s so cute, I want to die”; “Oh, my God, he’s so cute, I want to tear my hair out, run screaming down the street naked, and kill some innocent bystanders.”

 

The deer family. They are so precious. Let’s burn them alive.

 

Nica has a couple of the big playsets, and she really enjoys them. But the one she uses the most is the Carry and Play House.

 

 

When you open it up, it looks like this:

 

Et Voilà

 

You have to supply your own furniture and Critters, so this is a great gift for someone who has some Calico stuff already. Nica’s aunt and uncle got her the awesome Baby Playhouse Windmill, which she does play with from time to time, but she seems to use the simpler, portable one more.
 

I remember the days when Nica’s Critters did not have much strife in their lives. They just moved from one room to the other, played with each other, lined up for no apparent reason, went to bed. They hardly spoke to one another except to say “Hi!” and “Oh, thank you!” Now there’s all kind of drama goin’ on in Critterworld.

 

The Real Hedgehogs of Calico County

 

FYI, do not get Calico Critters if you…

… have small children who are still putting objects in their mouths. The Critters sets often include teeny, tiny, oh-so-chokey parts.

… are constantly misplacing your reading glasses and/or have arthritis. Your child or grandchild will undoubtedly ask you to retie the strings or bow on some lilliputian apron or dress. I guarantee it will drive you insane. Some of these outfits should come with microsurgical tools.